International Women’s Day 2023

Aga Milanov, senior architect

A lot of expectations are placed on women nowadays in every aspect of life – to succeed professionally, to be a good mother, partner and role model.

Combining these roles often becomes the reality for many women and, in my case, questions on how to navigate in a traditionally male centric industry whilst aligning with my own values frequently arise.

As an architect and a mother of two, and having worked in the built environment for over 15 years, I went through a journey of striving for perfection, wanting to please everyone and fearing being judged. Dealing with feelings of guilt when leaving my children to pursue my career has accompanied me throughout my working life, yet on the other hand, I felt uncomfortable leaving the office to pick up my children on time, as colleagues were still in work mode.

Many years ago, I was working on a deadline and didn’t feel comfortable to ask if I could take a half day off to watch my son’s first sports day. I chose not to expose myself and missed the event. Since then, I have had plenty of deadlines which have long been forgotten, however my son’s first sports day remains an important milestone for our family and I wasn’t there to support my child. I have since realised that you can’t turn back time – milestones like this only happen once – but career aspirations will always be there.

I would encourage women in the industry not to be afraid to stand up for yourself, to learn how to set boundaries, and to be in tune with what your values and priorities are and follow them.

Support at work plays a vital part when it comes to balancing being a career alongside being a mother. Ryder has fostered an inclusive culture, based on mutual respect and trust, where you can play both roles.

Nichola Speight, associate landscape architect

Growing up, both my parents worked full time but my dad was the higher earner who often worked away. My mum was the primary caregiver who worked 9 to 5, the rest of her time was dedicated to looking after my sister and I, and the running of the house. Times have changed and these responsibilities are shared equally between my husband and me – as someone who also works in the built environment, he understands it’s sometimes demanding and often juggles just as much as I do.

Sometimes the house is messy, there’s a pile of washing to be done and Lego has taken over the dining table, but I’ve accepted that it’s impossible to be perfect at everything. What I do know, is that I tried my best at work, I was the professional that I’ve worked hard to be, and my son went off to school delighted with the half term ‘build a volcano project’ that we spent all weekend making. Because we can do both things, we can wear both hats – and the bits that don’t get done, are they really that important?

In my opinion, being a working mum shouldn’t come with a stigma or make you feel guilty. I never once thought that I wasn’t going to go back to work after I’d had children. I’ll admit that I found it difficult leaving them initially and that I missed them – but I want my children to grow up knowing that their mum and dad were equals.

My advice to women wondering whether they can balance being a parent and continue their career is, yes, sometimes it’s challenging, and sometimes you’ll feel guilty, but as your children start to grow and turn into adults with careers of their own, they’ll look to you as their role models and see that if you did it, they can too.

Hilary, I'Anson, associate

I sit at home writing this whilst juggling work, childcare, the impending load of washing to be hung and the imminent arrival of the food shopping delivery. I want to write this article, but my daughter also wants me to watch her twirl, play with her and simultaneously make her a snack.

Despite fully recognising as a newly qualified architect that I was about to embark on a career in a male dominated industry, I never once considered how I might navigate having both a career and a family. I naively thought the transition would be a simple one, but in reality being a working mother is no easy feat. Despite having good support at both home and at work, it can be hard to plan for an important meeting when you’re waking up several times a night with a baby or stay focused when you are worried about a sick child. Instead, I have learnt to reconcile changes in priorities and expectations, and to manage my time effectively all whilst unsuccessfully trying to avoid an excess of the dreaded ‘mum guilt’.

Whilst many female architects find it hard to balance the demands of a professional career with the continual pull of family life, to have it all is not entirely impossible. It isn’t perfect, but ultimately there is nothing more rewarding than watching your children grow, your projects succeed and being able to share with your family the contribution you have made to the profession.